The guy in the picture is too gorgeous, isn't it? IKR. :]]
Okay. I wanna share with you guys a short, sweet and bitter experience for me in the past few weeks. As i stated in the title, obviously, it's a love story. :) One-sided love, i guess? I'm not sure. Okay. Enough of that. Here it goes.
Week 1:
Three weeks ago, it was a Monday i think, i was browsing some of my friends' facebook accounts when i clicked a page of a dg member. Yeah, you guessed right. I checked Byron Anasco's facebook account. It's been so long since i involved myself with these people. Why? I don't wanna elaborate the reason because the mere fact that i distanced myself from them means that the reason behind this is not good. Although i am still in touch with Elgene. Yeah, friendship never ends. He's my one and only loser after all. I crossed Rjhay Dulalia's page and then saw this cute guy named Harold Groover. Yeah, i'm also uncertain about his surname but hey, that's his name in his facebook account! Wag nalang tayong makialam. HAHA. Kidding aside, i was really captivated by his looks. He seemed so kind and handsome. Ofcourse! I wouldn't spend time looking at his pictures for almost 1 hour for nothing. I dunno. I just find him really cute. My friends keep telling me na "Girl, normal lang yung mukha niya.." "Girl, he's pretty common.." but i don't care. As long as i feel happy looking at him. I immediately called Elgene after i saw his facebook account. This was our conversation.
Me: LOSEEEERR!
Elgene: Oh bakit na naman?
Me: Sino to si harold???
Elgene: Bakit?
Me: BASTAAAA!
Elgene: Ka-grupo ko. HAHA.
Me: GOSH. Crush ko siya loser. HUHU.
Elgene: Bestfriend ko yan eh.
Me: HALAAA. Tulungan mo ako! Pano ko siya makikilala?
Elgene: Basta! Mamaya ka na tumawag loser, kumakain pako! (hangs up)
(oo nga naman. it was 12 noon when i called. he just woke up.)
15 minutes later, a text message from Elgene arrived. BUSINESS CARD! Yes, it's Harold's business card. I called him again and asked him what am i gonna do with that? He said "bahala ka na. Matuto ka na." I really dunno what he meant by that but i said thanks by the way. He's really good to me, doing all my favors. He's a cool friend, really. And i love him. :) So, i texted that number but i got no reply. I was disappointed but let it go immediately. He don't know me by the way so why the hell would he reply to a stranger.
Two days after, somebody texted me. Someone i don't know. I asked who he is, he said he's Harold. I fell down on my knees when he said that. I was in cloud 9! Imagine, your crush texted you even though he hasn't seen you yet. So i also texted him and all. I was really doubtful if he's really Harold because Elgene might just fool me. You know, he loves to tease me. Besides, the number Elgene sent me was different from the number "Harold" was using. So i just went with the flow. We texted everyday, and i'm starting to like him more. Why won't i? He's really sweet and caring even though it's only through text messages. Even though it was already Sunday, 4 days of texting with him, i'm not really certain if he's really Harold. He knew it. I always ask him about that. Hey, it's too good to be true, right?
Week 2:
It was a Monday. Nina and I decided to visit Elgene. Ofcourse we haven't seen him for the past 2 months! It's too long. We really missed him. Months ago, we were really close. We were going to their house everyday? I think. Yeah. We watched dg's dance contests before and slept at Elgene's house. See? We're really close. HAHA. Anyway, enough of the sore loser. We planned to visit him, and at the same time meet Harold. Yes ofcourse! I've been dying to meet him personally. So there, we went at Elgene's house. Nothing much changed, IMO. Except for his hair. He dyed it black and had a haircut. (I don't really like it.) Oh, i almost forgot. Playmate was there too! (Ryo) I missed my beloved playmate. Really! He's the only person that can make me laugh like there's no tomorrow. And i love him too. :) So there, Elgene called Harold and told him that we're going to his house. It was in Saluysoy? I think? It's farther than i imagined. Playmate and loser said that we have to ride a bus, then jeepney, then swim through an ocean filled with sharks. Skank! Hahaha! Although i knew that it was only a joke. I kept in mind that i've been waiting for so long for this day to come. I'll cherish every moment. My mind was overflowing with thoughts. So, we went to Harold's place, not exactly at his house. I dunno. We just met in the streets. FUNNY, right? I was starstrucked when i first saw him. I was insanely happy for a moment. I was never wrong. HE'S SO GORGEOUS. Yes, no exaggeration. But he's shy? I dunno. Maybe it's our first meeting though. So, there. We stayed in that place for so long. Yes, we wasted our time. I was so nervous that i can't possibly talk. Playmate and Loser knew that. HAHAHA. So they decided to eat at Complex. They ate at Jollibee. I can't possibly forget what ryo wants to eat. "Pinalambot na bato tapos pinritong langgam." OMG. That just cracked me up! HAHAHA. See? Who wouldn't love my playmate? He was wearing boxers that time. There's a huge hole in its pocket. He's hilarious. So back to Harold. Yeah, he's wearing a white top, and shorts. I dunno what it's called. I'll just say shorts. So, few things i noticed about his appearance is that he's face is just too flawless and he's nails are too clean. OMG. Such a total turn-on. Right girls? He's silent, but with humor. You won't be bored. Although i knew that he was somehow bored with me. Ofcourse, i'm not myself that time! It was like a dream. A magical dream. We needed to go early because we're about to go somewhere. But i learned that they're having a contest later on at langka. What a waste! I can't go and watch. OOOH. I almost forgot, when we're about to go home, i hugged my playmate. I was teasing Elgene and Nina eh. Yeah, they had a thing before. So, Nina told me to hug Harold. BUT HEY, IT'S TOO MUCH! I dunno what i had in mind back then but I just wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed the moment. It was kinda long because when i'm about to release him, a lady accidentally pushed me. Oh well, not my fault anymore! When we rode the jeepney, i'm in a daze. Really. I can't imagine that all of that happened just now! GOSH. I had so much fun. Speechless.
The next day, we were still texting. He's as sweet as ever. Saying sweet stuffs that could make me smile crazily. Yes, i'm starting to like him even more. It was at dawn when they finished practicing. He called me. I dunno what to do! I'm tensed, nervous, happy. Mixed emotions. It's so bizarre. I answered and heard his sweet voice. The voice that i'm longing to hear up to now. We chatted, casually. I told him that i'm quite nervous. Was i too honest? Hey, i hate lying the most. Then, he said, "i miss you". I WAS SPEECHLESS. I can't even remember what i replied back then. But yes, i'm so happy. I can't handle myself anymore. Alone's for sure, my whole life has changed since he came in.
Wednesday was still the same. Even better. He's sweet, i can't contain myself. I have been too honest with my feelings for him. But i'm thinking that he might just like me as a friend. He must have someone special in his life. He might have other girls around him, just like Elgene. I didn't care. But it kinda hurts. Yes, it hurts. Why is that so? Have i fallen in love with him? Maybe. Who knows. All i know is that i'm happy..with him. He became my own dose of drug. Whenever he texted me, my day was complete.
Thursday was the day of our outing. I really hoped he could follow. I want to spend time with him. I missed him too much! My mind was filled with thoughts of him. Only him. It was evening when playmate texted me. I asked him to come, he agreed. I was like OMFG! He'll bring along Harold and Loser. That just made my day. I'm so insanely happy. Night approached, Harold sent a gm saying "he's contented with someone". I was nervous. He might like someone. He answered "Ikaw yun. hehe" Really? Too good to be true, indeed. But i believed him. I said "me too, i'm contented with you." I was touched, i nearly cried. He said that he would follow us in Plaridel. I asked him not too, thinking that i'm becoming selfish. Knowing that he's tired from practice, i still insisted him to come. He said he's not forced to, he wanted to come. I'm so happy. I'm starting to love him. But someone from home called me. Asking me to go home. Urgent matters. What a waste! I COULD'VE SPENT MORE TIME WITH HIM. But oh well, maybe it was not the right time.
Friday was the first day that we argued. He was angry because of a guy. I can't understand why he was like that. But it seemed that he really don't want me to be with someone else. I was moved. I'm loving him more. I kept explaining to him that Chi's just a friend. Really. An FB friend. But he was mad. I dunno what to do. 12 midnight was fast approaching. It was his birthday. I called him several times but he's rejecting it. Then he turned off his phone? I'm not sure. But it really made me sad. What if i can't greet him at exactly 12 o'clock? I might die of depression if in case it happened. HAHA. But hey, he answered it 20 mins. before his birthday. I said sorry to him. A lot of times. He was mad. But we reconciled. He forgave me. We talked by the phone. That made me so happy. He said that he'll be attending mass. It was the first time i said "I love you" to him. :>
It was his birthday, Saturday. I really want to come. But i can't. I have other commitments. Sayang. I should've come and greet him personally. He said that they'll be having a party at night, with his friends. I was somehow bothered. He might have girls with them. He sent a gm saying "san kna? :((". I was mad. Obviously, it's not for me. It's for someone else? Scratch it. I don't want that. I despise that. I abhor the thought of him with someone else. Selfish much? I don't care. I waited for his text message. But i received none. I just tried to understand. It's his day. I'll let him enjoy it with those people he wanted to spend his day with. Though it's not me. :)
Sunday, I waited. But he texted me at 6, saying he drank too much. I intended not to reply. But hey, i can't take it. As i've said, he's my daily dose of drug. IT'S LIKE I AM SO USELESS IF HE'S NOT WITH ME. Pathetic much? Ikr. But what can i do? I've fallen for his trap. He was at it again, saying sweet stuffs that's irresistable for me. So there, i replied. Sent load. Waited..for nothing. I can't possibly blame anyone out there for this. It was my choice to be taken for granted. My friends didn't lack advices. I'm just too hardheaded. I felt really bad. But i can't do anything. I just enjoyed myself last night. Oh well, nightlife. When i got home, i saw 2 missed calls. He was trying to call me. I dunno what he's about to say but i regretted not answering it. What the hell am i thinking? I should've answered it? But yeah. I told myself that sometimes, not everything you want is right. I just slept and tried to forget what just happened.
Week 3:
It was a Monday, my last day here. I thought i'm not coming home anymore. When i woke up, my first thing in mind was to call him. I waited until 5 pm, but his handphone is still off. I was anxious because what if i won't be able to talk to him for the very last time? Yeah. It was hard for me. I texted him at 10 saying, "Hey, i'm leaving." I got no reply. I was about to cry that night. He's the one that i needed to hear before i leave. I fell asleep, waiting. I cried myself to sleep.
Tuesday came, goodbye now. When i woke up, i saw his text message saying, "Aislinn, ingat ka ah. mamimiss kita ng sobra. ingatan mo sarili mo ah. sorry di kita natetext, wala kasi akong load eh. nung nakaraan tinatawagan kita. di mo naman sinasagot." Tears rolled down from my eyes. Hey, what the hell am i thinking, leaving this person behind? I can't do anything. I sent a text message to him. Hoping he could somehow read it. I spilled my heart there. I LEFT WITHOUT TALKING TO HIM. Painful, isn't it?
Wednesday, Janelle told me that somebody texted. It was him. He said that he was missing me. I rushed and made my decision. I'm not going to leave this person ever again. That's what i thought.
Saturday morning, i arrived. Slept the whole day. When i woke up at around 7:30, i saw a text message. It was from him. A GM. I read it. He stated there that he's sad. I asked why. He said it's nothing. I chatted with him, like how we used to before. But everything seems so different. He's cold now. I'm alarmed. "Maybe he has someone special now? Maybe he doesn't like me anymore?" My mind was kept busy by that thoughts.
Sunday. I didn't text him. He didn't either. I browsed his page and saw a comment coming from a girl named Mika. The comment was like this, "sorry po kung nahusgahan kita. sorry kung nasaktan man kita. i love you baby ko." Something like that. I can't exactly remember the words but those words stayed in my mind. My heart was in a rollercoaster ride. Mixed emotions. Did he lied to me? Please. I'm trying to convince myself that he didn't. But obviously he did. I called him, and asked about what i saw. He said "Wala lang yun." Oh really? He got mad. But i said sorry. That just proved my that this Mika was really important to him. Regardless of everything, i blindly believed a lie.
Week 4:
When i woke up at a Monday, i kept in mind that i'm not going to text this person again. I opened my FB account and saw that he posted a status message. It indicates at the last part of it, "come back to me, i'll wait for you." I just didn't mind it. Although i was troubled. I'm getting tired of all of this. I had a commitment with my BFF. We went to il terrazo and shopped. I got a text from him, saying sorry because he wasn't able to text me. I thought "ayan na naman kami. tapos ano? ulit na naman?". But you know what? I still entertained him. When i got home, i tried to empty my mind from his thoughts. But i just can't. He was trying to call me. I didn't answer. I'm starting to be fed up with all of this.
At tuesday, i received a text message from him, stating this, "nag-unli call ako kagabi, hindi naman kita natawagan kasi ayaw mo sagutin. hay. :( sige po, ayaw mo na ata sakin eh. wala po akong load." I stopped myself from doing it again. But i just can't. I asked yaya to sent him load. And there, i entertained him again. One thing i noticed is that he's sweeter that day. I dunno what happened but he really was. I was happy, ofcourse. Who wouldn't be happy if the person you love starts treating you as if you're special to him? Everything was fine, really. But one thing I noticed is that, he kept on putting in his GMs that "come back to me, i'll wait for you" quote. I'm starting to get irritated. But hey, he's sweet that day so i just enjoyed it. I'm so random, right? HAHA. Putting that aside, he said to me this, "gusto ko akin ka lang." I was so happy. I've really fallen head over heels for him. I claimed him as mine. He agreed. Sana ganito nalang kami lagi. That's what i thought. But that quote, CBTMIWFY (i just had it shortcut) really bugged me. I asked who that was, he said it was me. Oh really? I said fine. When you're really in love, even though the one you love is already fooling you, you'll just keep your eyes closed and your mouth shut.
A Wednesday approached, i'm upset with all his GMs. These were stated, "lahat ng tao pwede magbago, tama!", "09". Although it ws really June 9 that day, i was agitated. Maybe i'm too downcasted with everything about him. His lies and all. I texted him, saying everything i felt. "Dun ka nalang sa hinihintay mong bumalik sayo na handa ka pang magbago. Tas 09 pa kayo! I'll be happier. :] swear." That's what i sent him. He replied, "Dahil lang dun nagkakaganyan ka na." WTF? Who wouldn't be upset with that? I told myself, enough. I've had it already. Stop this. But you know what? I still apologized. I asked him what really are we, he said that he doesn't know. He also said that he doesn't want me out of his life and that i'm all his. I felt the same way. I told him also. I felt somehow contented with what he said. Though i know that i'm just being unmindful of everything. Later that night, i saw the posts of those two people and had it connected. I'm such a poker-faced bitch! So he really WAS waiting for someone. This is just a wild guess but even so. The post of Mika states that she was really in a far place. I wouldn't know ofcourse. That night, i'm blind as a bat, and went to my SUPER MEGA BITCH PERSONALITY. I sent a GM to everyone spilling every pain in my heart. Yes, i'm totally hurt. Not only with what i saw, but everything. I'M SO FULL OF EVERY BULLSHIT THAT'S HAPPENING TO ME FOR THE PAST MONTH. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. AND NOW I'M CUTTING MY CRAP. I committed myself into something that i don't like. Yes, i've had a relationship.
It was a gloomy Thursday for me. I'm all broken and trashed out with everything that has happened. Flashbacks occupied my mind. So, he fooled me all along? Was he just trying to use me? Holy crap. I kept weeping. It's so painful. I've loved him a lot. He texted that night saying, "hindi mo na talaga ako naaalala." If only he knew that for that past month, i've been thinking about nothing but him. I called him and said, "naalala mo pa ba yung guy na like ko before, kame na." he replied, "bahala ka.." It hurts like hell. But i think this is best for me and for him. I cannot tolerate further lies anymore. I hate dishonesty the most. I hate being cheated at.
Friday and Now are the same, I'm not entertaining him anymore. Alhough i know that i'm still madly in love with him, i know that i need to stop. He still has my heart but i'm not going to be a fool anymore. I've had enough pain already. I can't take further hurt anymore. I hope he's happy with the girl he loves. Sad isn't it? But i'll know that someday, i'll get numb with this feeling and finally..move on. I just hope that someday, he'll stop cheating on girls and finally love a person with all his heart.
--
So there it was. My painful summer love. Just always remember that no boy is worth your tears, and if he is, he shouldn't be making you cry in the first place. My heart is still in pain, yes. But i'll start to face the truth. I'll never be with him. If he's really for me, time will arrange it. No efforts should be wasted. I've learned a lot, indeed. I'm still the old me, only better. I'll just have my priorities straight and suave. I just know that one day, Mr. Right will meet me in a hallway, and true love will just bloom at that moment. :>
Magical isn't it?
You've got to take the good with the bad, the smile with the sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.
xo people. :*
